I am too disorganised !

Yesterday I received a call from a student who was feeling extremely frustrated and dissatisfied with herself. She told me that she was feeling crazy.

“Life is not going well. Most of the time I feel emotional pain as I feel angry with myself. When I think a lot, plan my days  and weeks  in detail but fail to execute them, my self confidence touches the ground. Every moment I am concerned about my preparation for the civil service examination but I feel I am not able to prepare well. My family has given me some time & I feel too much pressure . The fear of failure is too debilitating.

Can you help me sir. … please!

Do you understand what is exactly wrong with this student? Why is she not preparing ?

2 thoughts on “I am too disorganised !”

  1. Most of the people who face these type of problems often have unrealistic sense of human nature and the functioning of the world we live in.
    She may be unable to focus on her preparation because of many reasons –
    1)Lack of motivation – Given the fact that she makes detailed plans but fail to execute them shows that may be she is doing preparation for civils only under social pressure or under social comparison.She must honestly introspect if she really wants to be a civil servant or her interests are somewhere else.
    2)Lack of executive skills – Just because she is motivated to qualify the exam does not meant she will fully engage in the preparation.There may be several reasons for that –
    Unrealistic Planning- If her plans are too idealistic she will fail to execute it and feel guilty and angry about it.
    Lack of self regulation and discipline – As she is telling that she is chronically in the state of anxiety she fail to focus on studies and always thinking about the outcome and its consequences.
    Faulty reasoning and logic – It is illogical to think too much about the final outcome as she has not control over a lot of factors that can affect it, like the performance of other candidates.
    Apart from the above factors there may be some biological factors behind her constant aroused state.This may include neural malfunctioning or some physiological issue like high blood pressure acting as a feedback loop aggravating the situation.

    Apart from the above cognitive,behavioral and biological framework she seems to be missing the humanistic virtues of hope and positive self concept.

    To counter most of the above issues she must take external help.For example social support for emotional help. Using various tools and techniques like taking regular tests and using the performance and feedback to objectively evaluate her progress and making necessary changes if required will reduce her anxiety that is based on her subjective interpretation of the situation.

  2. The student is under stress as she is unable to meet her expected demands.
    Due to high population in our country and limited employment opportunities there is a rising pressure on students to perform and meet their own and societal expectations.
    The student has developed a pessimistic view towards life that is a thing to be concerned.
    The reasons behind her neurotic personality by a mix of biological, cognitive, behavioural and humistic perspectives.
    Firstly she is overthinking and is not enjoying the journey of examination.
    Her result oriented beliefs lacks cognition.
    Secondly there is a mismatch between her real self and ideal self. She makes ambitious plans but is not able to execute them which leads to ingruence with her self concept, thus fer confidence drops and so does her performance.
    She should try making small targets and SMART goals and gradually increase them.
    Also she need to to be cognitively clear that the ratio of clearing exam is quite low and that not end of the road and maximun she can do is to increase her chances by performing well.

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